Today was a day to be present. I sat by the riverside watching my children cast lines in hopes of being the first to catch a fish. (We’re very competitive). In silence I sat, watching them and thinking to myself how much I love being their mom. How much I love them. How they taught me what love truly is. As one thought led to another, that love slowly turned into fear. It lead me down this anxiety filled rabbit hole. This isn’t easy for me to admit. I haven’t been afraid of much in my life. I jumped off the top of my swing set and broke my leg at 5yrs old. I flew to another state less than a week after 9-11. Hell, I went to a foreign country by myself. The amount of fear I have been feeling lately is new to me. Fear is the thief of so many things. It will steal your joy, your future, your present…. It will hold you back in ways you never thought possible. In living, in taking chances, in success, in love. I haven’t been able to be my authentic self due to this burden of fear I’ve been carrying with me. It is robbing me of my present. And I have to find a way to balance it.
I don’t want fear to take over my life. I want to live in joy.