Being overly independent is a defensive strategy for constantly being let down by people. Because when you are consistently let down you develop hyper independence to protect yourself from getting hurt again. It works. All too well. Without even realizing it you have isolated yourself. People start to see you as the person who can do it all, so why would you need anyone else. It teaches you if you don’t depend on anyone then they can’t do you wrong. The only way you feel safe or comfortable is by making sure no one has any control over your life or your feelings. When you are hyper independent you focus more on loving yourself. Loving yourself is the foundation for unbreakable bonds and everlasting relationships. You break from the norms, the social labels, the expectations of others. You believe in yourself more because you’ve accomplished what everyone told you you never would. It’s not that you don’t interact in social settings, you do. It’s that you don’t need the things you thought you would to make you happy. No, you’ve learned to only take the things that truly mean something. Surrounding yourself with the people who truly love and support you. Quality over quantity.
At some point this year, I jumped timelines. I let go. I can’t change what was, I can only be my genuine, goofy, passionate, fiercely loving self. I’m tired of hiding her or dulling her down for others. It’s funny, as I’m writing this I’m thinking about how my children are the only ones who see me with zero guards up. 100% authentic. Why? Because it’s pure love. Now, imagine I opened that side of myself to the rest of the world. What if I stop thinking about the damage someone could do and start thinking of the possible joy someone could introduce to my life? Believe it exists and it will be.