I have asked this question a thousand different ways.  Will I ever get to the point where life stops testing me and starts trusting me?  I feel as though I have been on a never ending quest.  Trying to keep breathing when everything felt like it was suffocating me.  Have I been forgotten?  Have I been singled out for struggle?  Is this punishment or preparation?  I have walked through fire time and time again.  I am STRONG.  I have experienced a mountain of loss.  I’m WISE.  I feel like I have been placed in emptiness.  Am I being left behind?  Or am I being led?  Most days I feel like I’m unraveling.  All while being told I’m being shaped for a life much larger than I have now.  Am I in the season that will answer the question?  Will beauty arrive because of the pain and not in spite of the pain? Is this the season where intimacy no longer requires armor?  Where joy no longer feels borrowed?  Whom and what do I need to let go to achieve it?  All of this… Is my life.  I love life.   I love the highs and lows.   The joy and the sadness.  The ordinary to the extreme.  The said emotional roller coaster of it all.   All I have to do is trust that everything I have had to endure is with reason.  I’m ready to step into the life I have been led to lead.